In 2018 Kanye West released an Album, title “Ye”. The artwork on the cover featured the quote “I hate being Bipolar, it’s awesome”. In its profoundness and simplicity it encompassed his feelings towards his own personal medical diagnosis. I have never pretended to understand what it is like to be bipolar or the daily battles involved in dealing with many mental health issues, but that’s not what this blog is about. Sorry, but it’s not.

I may be oversimplifying this. But I found this title to be very relevant to how I feel about being a chef. I, by no means want to take away from anyone suffering with mental health issues or mental illness. This is just a reference point I have connected to an image.

So. Do I really hate being a chef? Of course not. Is it Awesome? Sometimes. I don’t want to preach to the choir here. Most of the readers of my blogs are chefs, work in the industry or are people who just like to stalk me. Either way, most are quite well versed in my opinions of this trade.

It is bloody hard and the hours are long. The money is mostly shit and everyone is a critic of your work. Literally, everyone! That all sounds pretty horrible right? Very few industries can claim to put it’s employees through this scrutiny. The likes of TripAdvisor, Yelp or whatever, being able to empower faceless reviewers to pass ill-informed comment on service and procedures they may know little about. Shit, right?

But then there is the other side. The friends we make. The chefs we cross paths with as commis and then again, in latter years as Head Chefs. The Knowledge that you’ve seen each other’s kitchen fuck ups. They are the untold secrets, their chefs need not know about. There is the prestige which comes with success. The review from a respected journalist or a nice write up in the local paper. Better still, a customer telling you directly that the meal was amazing! These are moments again, which are rarely rivalled. So much joy can come from this industry, that I know I’d struggle to turn my back on it fully.

Having a skill like this, will always be respected. If you are a good chef and take your job seriously, you will be admired. So many people look at chefs like we are Magicians, Wizards or Witches. The skills we take for granted, are looked at by “Muggles” as if we just pulled a Rabbit Fricasse out of a hat! We chefs sometimes underestimate what it is we do. Maybe society is to blame for this. Especially here in the UK where the hospitality industry is looked at as something one does to supplement their income. “What’s your day job?” or “Did you always want to be a chef?” The latter question is one I get asked very often. I only recently connected it with the notion that people would not assume “Chef” as a career choice. That’s another rant, for another blog!

If you are considering a career as a chef. Go for it. I’ve been a chef for over 25 years and I still love it. Like any relationship, there are good days and there are bad days. The industry is going through lots of changes right now. With more emphasis on wellbeing now than ever before. Employers are more aware on how much they can and cannot push their staff psychologically. The benefit of this can result in better way of life for ALL involved. Happier employees, happy customers, better food, better business. Makes sense, right?

Being a chef is a love/hate thing. I could ramble on, but I know you get what I’m saying here. We mostly all feel the same.
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I hate being a chef, it’s awesome. This summarises my feelings to an extent. Although hate is a very strong word. Too strong, in fact. I may update the image/title to say Being a chef pisses me off a bit sometimes, but it’s pretty cool. 

I was in the gym the recently. I jumped on a fancy new machine and I was asked to enter some details via the digital display. Weight, height and age. Not the first time I’ve had to do this at the gym. So, without giving it too much thought I answered the questions. Weight: 92kg (ouch!), Height: 183cm (Whatever 6ft is in cm), Age: 43….yeah 43?…Hang on… shit! I’m 44! I had seriously forgotten my age. How long had I been saying that I am 43? Considering my birthday was last November. Had I completely disregarded that one? The more profound realisation, was that this year, I will be turning 45. I know this is by no means “old” but it made me think. How much longer can I do this for? I’m not talking about the cross trainer I was on, but, this life as a chef. I know there are a certain level of chefs, who may not be able to relate to this. But, to the faction of us in stained whites, who are serving up the not so glamorous burgers and chilli nachos to the beer and Prosecco swilling masses. The days can be long and monotonous. The only reprieve coming when taking a moment to scroll through Instagram and daydreaming about being a part of the Tweezer Crew in some chrome and steel plated, high-end kitchen.
So, what’s the plan Brian? What’s your End Game? (that was going to ne the name of this blog, but didn’t want you to think it was an Avengers Movie review). As I’ve stated, I know 44 is not old, but it is an age which I feel I should be seriously considering my next move. I’m not actively looking for a new job, but I always consider new opportunities, ventures and collaborations, whether it’s cooking, consulting or teaching. This usually fits quite nicely into my current roll at the pub and with my website. That’s kinda what I do…but how long can I keep doing it?
For the purpose of this blog and for those in a similar situation, I thought I should list some of options I’ve take or thought about. With a view that those who actually read this post, can add their own ideas in the comments below, thus creating an inspiration wall of strategies. Ya get me?
Me, myself and I:
The approach which I am currently taking, is more psychological. I enjoy my job. I find aspects of it frustrating, I wish I had more money. All the normal qualms people have with working full time. But, what I do now is, I focus more on my life outside of work. Making the commitment to something which is not related to pots and pans. For me, it’s running, going to the gym and working on improving my fitness. It’s making me focus on something else which is inherently more important. Me! Ironic as it was the gym which triggered this whole episode. Fitness does not need to be the focus here. The point is, making structured time for yourself and moving the kitchen, bar or restaurant away from the top of the list. Reading, audio-books and podcasts are another thing I add to this tool kit of self-preservation. Shut the world off. Focus on myself.
Money:
Taking a reduction in pay or hours is an option I toyed with. Could I go and work in a school or care home for a reduced wage, more family friendly hours. Stepping away from the restaurant sector and more in to the care/private sector. I know a few chefs who have done this. It works for some. But this is where the balance of mental welfare and financial stability can be like walking a tightrope. There are a few chefs working as sales reps. Still in hospitality. Selling everything from chilled pastry items, fruit and veg, to Combi ovens. These jobs tend to pay a little better than being a dinner-lady/man. But as with most Sales Rep jobs, these are mostly commission based. So the pay will fluctuate.
Start-Up:
Go for it….or don’t. That idea you’ve always had for your own place. Can you do it? Take the time to develop a business plan. Do your research. Whether it’s a Bar, restaurant, tea room, food truck, pop-up or something completely different. Stop procrastinating and grab that pen, a piece of paper and start scribbling down your idea. Just by focusing on this, it will give you something to think about. Even while you are working, use those moments to think about what you’d do differently or even, the same! I have a new business idea most weeks. I know this is the area I need to commit more time to personally. I’m hoping to host my first official pop-up within the next 12 months. This comes with a lot of stresses and hard work. But as Maya Angelou says Nothing will work, unless you do!
Freelancing:
A booming sector right now. Lots of chefs are taking themselves off the grid and becoming wandering hands for hire. You can end up working a lot more than you were before, but in theory, you do get paid for every single hour you work. But if you are looking to take your foot off the gas, this may not always be the best option. Your employer will want value for money and they tend to demand more for the £20 per hour chef even when it’s not so busy. Again, this works for some. Have you got a car? This is a very viable option. My advice would be to get your negotiation skills up to speed and get short term contract agreements signed.
Career change:
For a while, I went in to teaching. I was an instructor of Professional cookery at the local college. I loved this. Well. I loved the teaching part. The bureaucracy of the roll was what frustrated me. But that’s for another blog. Needless to say, This is where I fell in love with teaching. I was only in the roll for a year and a half, but I still now do visits to schools and colleges. As well as private cookery tuition.
To date, I am one of the few remaining chefs still cooking professionally, from my graduating class at catering college. They mostly dropped by the wayside to become bus drivers, bank workers, firefighters, taxi drivers, mums, dads and in one case, running a Skip Hire company! I love being a chef. I don’t feel I could stray too far from what I do now. The changes I look for are more to do with coping strategies. I can’t see myself doing anything which is not related to food. Maybe you see yourself in an office or “doing lunch” with colleagues. That’s not a world for me chef! Put a pin in that, we’ll touch base over brunch yah?
Talk:
This is the one which is most important. If you are struggling with your workload. Talk to someone. It doesn’t have to be a coworker. Just talking with someone WILL make you feel better. But if you can talk to someone at work who can influence your conditions, then do it. If they want you to be happy, the humanity in them will drive them to make it so. Leaving a job is not always the best solution. We’ve all been in the situation where we’ve left a job, then found out the thing that was pissing you off there has been changed for your replacement.
If you have no one you feel you can chat with, drop me an Direct Message for fucks sake. I’m proper nice (mostly). I’m no therapist but you’re still welcome to pay me £150 per hour or just buy me a beer if we meet.
I can’t claim to be an expert on behaviour, social well being or any sort of psychologist. But I have wrestled with the subject of “What next?” a lot over the past few months. This blog is by no means detailed. I can only apologise for that. Maybe one day I’ll be in a situation where I can afford more time and resources to do more research. If you are like me and starting to think about how you want to see out your career, please comment below. There are so many options these days. The hospitality sector is so vast. Your dream job or opportunity is never that far away. It just takes a leap of faith and self-belief. I will keep doing my thing. I love what I do, but I know it’s not sustainable. I’ll still focus on self-development. Maybe one day I’ll look back at this blog and think what was I worried about?
Maybe I’ll write a book.
Cheers
B

Top 10 Fictional Chefs:
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This month I thought we’d have a little fun. I thought I’d give you a run down of my Top Ten fictional chefs. The results are based on minutes and minutes of research while flicking through my phone during a quiet spell on a Monday lunch service.
Get in touch if you feel I’ve missed someone in this contest which is set to rival the “world’s 50 Best Restaurants” in prestige and accolade.

10. Chef Monica Gellar. I’ve only added her so I can rant about her really. The chef who’s never at work. Surely a more accurate representation of a New York City chef would have been for her to have just not been there. Now, I’m no oracle of knowledge when it comes to the hit show “Friends” but I don’t remember Chandler ever saying “….I’ll find out when Monica is off and get back to you guys. You know how it is!”

9. Sherman “Preacher” Dudley AKA LL Cool Jay in the film Deep Blue Sea. Now this chef had his shit together. You know he was getting paid top dollar working as a private chef for this Science Team. I don’t want to give away the ending for the few people who have never seen this classic, but I’m quite sure my boy LL hid from the killer shark, in his oven…. I may be remembering that wrong. Feel free to correct me.


8. Spongebob Squarepants. So, many have called him a one trick pony, but if it isn’t broke, don’t fix it. Mr Squarepants had people queuing for miles for his Crabby patties. Very few chefs can claim to have this much interest for their own signature dishes. Others have tried to replicate the “secret formula” but often failed. His skills as a chef coupled with his cheery outlook on life, are the reason he makes this top ten.


7. Remy Rat. I’m only putting this vermin on the list because some of you who responded to me when I asked for your favourite fictional chef, said Ratatouille. Personally, I can’t stand the film. Rats don’t belong in kitchens. Full stop! Stupid concept. Crap movie. That being said. This is a chef review, not a movie review. Remy’s skills and natural ability are worthy of high praise. His passion and quest for excellence are to be admired. He definitely did the great Auguste Gusteau proud. As a side note, in researching this blog (lol), I was led to an article which referenced the late real chef Bernard Loiseau as inspiration for Gusteau in this movie. If you take anything away from this list. Go read more about Chef Loiseau.


6. Adam Jones from the movie “Burnt” Despite the helmetless, motorcycle ride scene through the streets of London to pick his mate up from prison, this film was pretty good. But like I said, this is not a movie review. This list is compiled based on my personal algorithm which is fuelled by Gin, tonic and ice cubes. So, as I found Adam to be a bit of a knob, He does not make it much higher than sixth position. His quest for Michelin stars showed his single-minded determination and little else by way of personality. Controversial?


5. Now Carl Casper on the other hand was a much more well-rounded character. The Film “Chef” Will make you hungry. The chef’s skills on show were more rustic and relatable to me. As well as the often-seen power struggle between owner and chef.


4. Chef- South Park. Chocolate. Salty. Balls. Legend. Need I say more?


3. Swedish Chef. This is probably my first memory of a chef to appear on the TV. Therefore, he makes the list for his influence. As this seems to be the case for a lot of chefs. Growing up and watching the TV in the 80s, was all about the Muppets. Several chefs have attributed this chef for inspiring them to be in the kitchen. Daniel Humm, Dominique Crenn, and Heston Blumenthal all told me this. This is 100% true. Because you’re reading this on the internet…. Or did I just dream that?


2. Gareth Blackstock A true ambassador and pioneer. Head chef of the Chateau Anglaise. “Chef” was BBC primetime viewing in the early 90’s. As a chef, he displayed class, talent and charm. He pulled no punches and ran the kitchen with authority and was totally respected by his brigade. This TV series ended too soon. Definitely due for resurrection.

1. Casey Ryback. Those who know, know. Chef Casey Ryback was formerly a Navy SEAL. He lost his Officer status by doing something bad which I can’t quite remember right now. But that’s really not important. Needless to say, if there is ever a chef you want to stand behind, this is the guy. He looked out for his team and makes a badass Bouillabaisse. If you’ve never watched Under Siege, then we can’t be friends. All Hail Steven Seagal. Sorry, I mean Chef Ryback!

Honourable mentions: Ian Beale (Eastenders) I don’t watch Eastenders.
Who have I missed? Who is in your top 10? Who should be number 1?
Also. Check out my Chef movie night suggestions blog here https://www.thestaffcanteen.com/Blog/chefs-movie-night-suggestions-blog-by-knifeofbrian Or on medium here https://medium.com/@brix2tri/chefs-movie-night-suggestions-26b585f6dd21
Cheers,
Brian P.

WOW! So my blog has been shortlisted and now open to the public vote.

I don't usually enter these sort of things, but if you don't shoot, you wont score.

You can vote for me under the Culinary Section here :
https://blogawardsuk.co.uk/blog_award_category/culinary/page/7/

Or under the Lifestyle section here:

​https://blogawardsuk.co.uk/blog_award_category/lifestyle/page/42/

I think you just click on the little heart icon.

Massive thanks to all my supporters over the years and a super shout out to The Staff Canteen who have been publishing my blogs over the past few years. Thanks to all the Chefs who have inspired me to write. And my wife who encourages me to do what I love.


Thank you.

I really appreciate it

For this month’s post, I thought I’d list 11 Comments and Questions chefs love to hate.
I know these grind on me. Feel free to add…

1. Can I get discount?
Chefs are always asked for discount. No matter which level they work at in the kitchen, it seems to be assumed that they have senior powers to slice a cool 20% off their friend’s bills. This is not the case. Most chefs don’t even get discounts themselves. If they do happen to own the restaurant, bar or hotel and this friend wants to visit, then the friendly thing to do would be to support them by expecting to pay full price. Anything else is a bonus.

2. Have you ever worked with….?
Mostly NO! There are millions of chefs in the world. We don’t all know each other and we have not all worked for that 0.01% who are fortunate enough to have their own TV show on the BBC.

3. What’s your signature dish?
I really hate this one. Back in the 1990s, every chef on TV seemed to have a signature dish. This then filtered down into the mainstream consciousness. Resulting in it being the follow up question, once meeting new people and they realise they are in the presence of a chef. A signature dish is a luxury reserved for those in the world of competitive cookery. Or those with a book deal. Brian from The Greyhound Pub has no signature dish. He’s too busy for that shit!

4. What’s in this? (insert random dish in random restaurant)
Like I said before. We chefs do not all know each other and we are not all connected via WiFi or Bluetooth. So if we are fortunate enough to be invited out for a meal with a group of friends or family. We do not automatically know what is in the random establishments fish pie or beef curry. We can only guess as much as the next person.

5. I bet your partner eats well?
Well, I guess she might. I’m never really home….. This question is based on the assumption that I am home cooking for my beloved every day. She feasts on nothing but restaurant grade meals cooked by me. Sous Vide venison fillet with confit shallots, garnished with edible flowers n shit! Nah bruv! She’s been to Morrisons and picked up a salad, some falafels and a bottle of Echo Falls Rose. She’s happy. After 18 years of marriage, she knows how to take care of herself in the kitchen. A chef’s spouse knows the score. Which leads me to number 6…..

6. What do you want to do on your day off babe?
Nothing. I want to do nothing. I want to sleep in until midday. I’ll eat those kit-kats, the crisps and the Muller Rice you were saving for the kids packed lunches. Then I’ll watch ALL the catch up TV which I’ve missed all week…plus I may lose myself in an episode of Jeremy Kyle. My brain needs to operate in power-save mode for a while. Like Windows 95, the shut down procedure takes a while…. “It is now safe to shut down your chef"

7. Are you one of those shouty/angry chefs?
No. He’s called Gordon Ramsay. He’s made millions from his persona (and talent) It works for him and may have worked for that generation of chef. But we are now in the 21st century where being a bell end is frowned upon and not accepted. I’d be out of a job and unemployable if I adopted the angry chef model of leadership. This question is usually asked by someone who doesn’t actually know me that well. Those who have worked with me will know that I am “Chill AF” No drama in my kitchens. Channel the adrenalin into the work. Move on.

8. Oh, you’d hate to cook for me, I’m a really fussy eater.
Nothing to add. You are correct. I will not be cooking for you…. Ok. Fussy eaters who come in to eat my food are welcome. I like to feel I am adaptable. But I will swear, mutter under my breath and talk trash behind your back. But you do pay my wages. But yes. I will hate it.

9. I bet you’re really fussy when you eat out?
Any chef worth their salt will have realistic expectations when they eat out. A chef will never criticise a plate of food set down in front of them. Come on! It’s very rare if we actually eat from a plate, let alone have someone prepare us a meal. Quite literally Don’t bite the hand which feeds you!

10. I’ll pop in for a chat when you’re at work.
Can I come and see you while you’re at work?! Just because I work in a public house does not mean I am not working. Just because I’m the head chef, do not assume I have a platoon on minions hanging onto my apron strings, waiting to do my bidding. I don’t swan into the kitchen with a tasting spoon like the Man From Del Monte. I’m busting my arse to keep the trip advisor brigade happy. I always appreciate a hello. I really love a beer being sent to the kitchen. But please understand, I have a job to do. And if we do chat and I seem distracted…. Something is probably burning.

11. What’s good on the menu chef?
I can’t believe I nearly missed this one. I really can’t tell you what you want to eat. All the food is good, in my opinion. Me and my team have done our best to deliver the best product we can. We have produced a menu for you to choose from. Make a decision and stop bothering me….. But actually… maybe try the Salt Cod, broad bean and prawn risotto. I think it’s bloody lush! 😊

​I hope you’ve enjoyed my little list and taken it in the humour it’s meant. If you have any comments or questions you want to add, please drop me a line.