1. Marco is lifer. This is the chef who probably has a Marco Pierre White tattoo on his/her forearm and regularly quotes from White Heat. This is not necessarily a bad thing, as I am myself, a regular user of a quote from the Lord and Master MPW!

2. Can’t cook, won’t cook: How the hell is this person a chef? They must be Head chef’s best mate/lover or a family connection. We’ve all worked with a chef like this. Never seems to get found out. Am I the only one seeing this? The flip side to this, is being a chef, in a kitchen you feel is way out of your league and you are praying not to get busted. Keep your head down and pretend you know how to use a that Centrifuge machine thingy.... “I’m a chef, not a lab technician”.

3. Name Dropper: Loves to name drop. Slides in to most conversations with how they worked with Gordon, Heston or Angela. Yes mate, you told me that already! It’s nice to be proud of your previous employers achievements, lets see what YOU can do!

4. Pastry: The corner of the kitchen where the dark arts are performed. Never make eye contact with an expert pastry chef. They will steal you soul and turn you into an exceptional Bavarois.

5. Young gun: All ideas and enthusiasm. Still in their first months of full time employment. No relationship or family concerns. Says yes to all the extra shifts without fuss. The older, more experienced chefs take great pleasure in watching stitching coming undone in this newbie! Slowly becoming bitter and the realisation of “this is my life now” taking grip of their passion. This is the point where they must be nurtured and shown pacing strategies to avoid burn out. Too many are left to fend for themselves and leave the industry in the first few years. Sad but true.

6. Hipster: All too cliché now. Sleeve tattoo, too much hair product, facial hair (men), Vintage bandanna (women), Expensive denim or leather apron. One, single, custom made knife, used for everything. Ironic Crocs. Do I need to go on? Come on, tell me I’m wrong? 🤣


https://www.thestaffcanteen.com/Blog/coolest-chef-tattoos-as-voted-for-by-you

​7. Blogger: A real disdain for the industry with delusions of self worth. Always looking for ideas for next post. Tries to be funny, but usually spirals into a depressing rant about hours, pay or lack of social life. When they have nothing real to say, they knock out a top 10/top 16 style post….wait what?
The grumpy blogger

8. Old school: “Get the fuck out of my kitchen with those tweezer things!” and “That boil in the bag nonsense can go fuck itself!” These chefs struggle to embrace momentum in the industry. They believe new ideas and cooking methods are just fads and hipster bullcrap! Don’t ask them to write a vegan menu either. Mushroom risotto anyone?


9. Book Club Chef: Owns and studies every cook book which comes out. The even claim to own a copy of the El Bulli books which were like £200 each. With their library and knowledge, they are the greatest chef on the planet. In reality…not so much.

10. Jedi master: The chef who is brilliant (a solid 9/10) at everything. Has a gnarled up little black book of recipes in their back pocket. Totally understated knife set, carried in a grease stained tote bag. The set of blades actually contains a few original carbon steel Sabatiers, with a whetstone and a copy of La repertoire. No one knows anything about this chef outside of the kitchen.
Still got your copy?

11. Sexecutive Chef: The chef who can’t wait to tell you the details of their most recent sexual exploits. Often exaggerated, mostly fabricated. Just let them chat their shit as long as they are ready for service.

12. The Machine: Usually found in the veg prep room, ripping through a sack of shallots. Will only cook from a recipe. Will follow the recipe to the letter. Creativity is for “others”.

13. Zombie Chef: Looks dead. Should be dead. Needs a holiday ALL YEAR. This chef could be a subcategory to most of the others on this list.

14. Chatter box: “Did you watch Masterchef/Great British Menu/chefs Table? Did you see what *Insert chef* did on Instagram/Chefplus? Did you read Knife of Brian’s latest blog on The Staff Canteen? He’s brilliant, I love him!” The chef who seems to have too much spare time on their hands and a major case of F.O.M.O. (Fear Of Missing Out) This is usually quite tolerable right up to the point where they start talking about X factor or Strictly Come Dancing.

15. Wannabe Influencer: Ambition is great. But calm down. Buying Instagram followers and YouTube subscribers may get you social media fame. But it’s the food you actually put in peoples stomachs which will be remembered. There are only so many variations of Avocado on toast which I can look at.

16. Fatally attractive: Totally unrecognisable outside of the kitchen. He or she moves under the radar a work. Just a colleague. You’ve never really looked at them in any other way apart from as “chef”. Then, one day , you see them in their “out-out” clothes and shit changes. No chef hat hair. No neutral body shaping whites. This god(dess) walked among us and we never knew. The term Scrubs Up Well was definitely meant for this chef.

To be continued by you…..

Please take this post in the manner which it is meant. This is just for shits n giggles. Feel free to add your own “chef types”. Lets see if we can fill a kitchen. Is there anything you’s add to these? Which one is you? Slide into my DMs.

Peace out,
​
Brian

Some of my recent posts could be viewed as being a little negative towards the hospitality industry. I pride myself on always being totally honest and truthful when I write. I write from my own experiences and perspectives. I am often guilty of oversharing. My wife will testify to that. She has heavily edited out a lot of content which I otherwise would have shared with you all, without a second thought.

So, on the subject of honesty, this month I wanted to share a response to a recent question I was asked. Over the past few weeks, I’ve been visiting High schools and the local college. I was there to help with recent food tech assignments and then share my experience of my transition from student, to chef, to small business owner respectively. While at these events, I was asked why I wanted to be a chef, and do I enjoy my career? A simple question to some, but my own response surprised myself.

Yes, I love being a chef. But, here’s the thing. I really fucking love being a chef. Obviously, I didn’t swear in front of the students, but as I spoke to these classes, especially the latter college students, I really astounded myself with my own enthusiasm. The more I spoke about my journey, the more I realised what I had been through, what I had experienced and how much I have achieved. Not necessarily professionally, but personally. This led me to come home and write this blog.

I love being a chef. I love what it is and what it means. To be a chef, we are charged with the responsibility of providing sustenance to people. We do this in the forms of functional food as well as aesthetically beautiful plates. Whether we work in a school dinner canteen or a three-star Michelin restaurant, we all want the same thing.

I am a fan of chefs. From Auguste Escoffier, to Marco Pierre White, to Clare Smyth. But also, from Fanny Craddock to the current Chef of the Month on The Staff Canteen Website. These are all my heroes, but then I look closer to home and watch the chaps in the local kebab shop taking absolute pride in the smallest detail of their job. Being a chef is more than tall hats, sharp knives and swearing. It really is a way of life and it reaches deeper than how we dress for 14 hours a day. We are all connected by passion.

When we look into the detail of our job. We are also responsible for the health and wellbeing of everyone who eats our food. The dishes we create are designed for people to ingest. I know that sounds sciency and weird. But just think about that for a second. People trust us, that much, that they are willing to let our food enter their bodies, on a cellular level. We make poisonous things, edible. We combine bland things to create powerful flavours. The dishes we create could be part of someone’s greatest memory. A momentary footnote to a marriage proposal, the sandwich being eaten while receiving news or just an inspirational image on social media. The impact of what we do can be spectacular. It may often go unnoticed, but sometimes, when we get that “Compliments to the chef!” shout out from a customer, on the surface we may just nod in acknowledgment and mumble “cheers”. But inside the fireworks are going off, the dream sequence plays though your mind of you collecting an award at the World’s Best 50 restaurants award. Even though it was only a chilli nacho they were talking about.

The things we do and take for granted are incredible. We are chefs. Yes, the career and lifestyle is hard. But it’s not the toughest. There are plenty of other industries with equally tougher lifestyles, less pay and less respect. I can only speak of my own experiences though.

There are several moments which I can single out as “defining” in my life over the flames. But I’ll share with you, the most nostalgic. As a young student chef at Suffolk College back in the 90’s, rocking my devilishly handsome, bumfluff moustache, flat-top hair cut and 5% bodyfat. I remember being in a fairly chilled evening session, led by our glorious leader of a head Chef lecturer Mr Paul Barnes. He’s famous among graduating chefs here in Ipswich. He was the type of chef who could make you feel like a king/queen or the village idiot with his wit. An old-school chef, always impeccably dressed and clean shaven. He was a walking La Repertoire de Cuisine. He knew EVERYTHING. He even knew which clubs or bars we had been in when we rolled in late for class/service.

I digress…. On this evening, service was steady. We had one of our strongest groups in the kitchen and it wasn’t overly busy. All evening Chef Barnes (Barnsie) had been floating around the kitchen, minesweeping ingredients from everyone’s unused Mise en Place. As service ended and we were using the stove bricks on the solid-top range and washing down surfaces, Barnsie opened an oven. He pulled out a large copper casserole dish. Even though it had a heavy lid, the smell was like nothing I had ever experienced. Heads all turned. Our curious young chef brains were snapped away from the monotonous cleaning duties. Hypnotised by the scent of garlic, herbs and meat. Barnsie removed the lid and the steam billowed out like a mushroom cloud which follows the dropping of an atomic bomb, filling the kitchen with a tsunami of strong aromatics. I know my memory may be rose tinting this moment. But I’ll take that. This was a Cassoulet. What you have to bear in mind here is that most of us student chefs were used to reading classic recipes, looking at pictures of these dishes. Creating our interpretation of them (probably badly). But these were not OUR dishes. I was raised on a mix of Caribbean cookery and beige British food like Findus Crispy pancakes, chicken nuggets and oven chips with beans. I had never eaten food cooked by an actual Master of French cuisine. As he shared out tasters for us all and spoke to us about the dish. All I can remember thinking is “This is the best thing I have ever fucking eaten IN MY LIFE”. That was a moment I knew I really wanted to be a chef. I started to understand what food could do. It was more that just eating, fuelling and stopping hunger. Food could be emotional. Spiritual even. Up until this point, I knew people could enjoy food. But that was based on food just tasting nice or their being mountains of it. My food memories up to that point were based on times I had eaten in excess. Christmas and family events etc.

To this day, I still try to replicate that dish. Even if I do now make a lovely cassoulet, I don’t expect it to have the same impact on anyone else. As chefs, we find our inspiration in many places, dishes and people. But our passion can be triggered in a single moment. A word, a smell a sound. A moment comes where we are reminded why we do what we do and why we love it.

So, when I write a blog which may sound a bit “Being a chef is shit…. I’ve got no friends!” It’s only because I love it so much, that it hurts, because it’s not perfect. I wish the lifestyle was better for ALL chefs. I wish we didn’t have to accept the hours as that’s how it is, deal with it! I love this career. Many of us could appear on Jeremy Kyle under the title “I think my career choice hates me… but I still love it”. Viewers watching, scratching their heads. Thinking, why would you work until midnight, go out for drinks and then be back at work for 9.30am?
​
It’s the passion which drives us. Try to remember the moments which made you want this. Do your part to inspire the next generation of chefs. Nurture that enthusiasm of the commis/trainee chef. Go visit schools and colleges and remind yourself who you are.
​

Top 10 Fictional Chefs:
​
This month I thought we’d have a little fun. I thought I’d give you a run down of my Top Ten fictional chefs. The results are based on minutes and minutes of research while flicking through my phone during a quiet spell on a Monday lunch service.
Get in touch if you feel I’ve missed someone in this contest which is set to rival the “world’s 50 Best Restaurants” in prestige and accolade.

10. Chef Monica Gellar. I’ve only added her so I can rant about her really. The chef who’s never at work. Surely a more accurate representation of a New York City chef would have been for her to have just not been there. Now, I’m no oracle of knowledge when it comes to the hit show “Friends” but I don’t remember Chandler ever saying “….I’ll find out when Monica is off and get back to you guys. You know how it is!”

9. Sherman “Preacher” Dudley AKA LL Cool Jay in the film Deep Blue Sea. Now this chef had his shit together. You know he was getting paid top dollar working as a private chef for this Science Team. I don’t want to give away the ending for the few people who have never seen this classic, but I’m quite sure my boy LL hid from the killer shark, in his oven…. I may be remembering that wrong. Feel free to correct me.


8. Spongebob Squarepants. So, many have called him a one trick pony, but if it isn’t broke, don’t fix it. Mr Squarepants had people queuing for miles for his Crabby patties. Very few chefs can claim to have this much interest for their own signature dishes. Others have tried to replicate the “secret formula” but often failed. His skills as a chef coupled with his cheery outlook on life, are the reason he makes this top ten.


7. Remy Rat. I’m only putting this vermin on the list because some of you who responded to me when I asked for your favourite fictional chef, said Ratatouille. Personally, I can’t stand the film. Rats don’t belong in kitchens. Full stop! Stupid concept. Crap movie. That being said. This is a chef review, not a movie review. Remy’s skills and natural ability are worthy of high praise. His passion and quest for excellence are to be admired. He definitely did the great Auguste Gusteau proud. As a side note, in researching this blog (lol), I was led to an article which referenced the late real chef Bernard Loiseau as inspiration for Gusteau in this movie. If you take anything away from this list. Go read more about Chef Loiseau.


6. Adam Jones from the movie “Burnt” Despite the helmetless, motorcycle ride scene through the streets of London to pick his mate up from prison, this film was pretty good. But like I said, this is not a movie review. This list is compiled based on my personal algorithm which is fuelled by Gin, tonic and ice cubes. So, as I found Adam to be a bit of a knob, He does not make it much higher than sixth position. His quest for Michelin stars showed his single-minded determination and little else by way of personality. Controversial?


5. Now Carl Casper on the other hand was a much more well-rounded character. The Film “Chef” Will make you hungry. The chef’s skills on show were more rustic and relatable to me. As well as the often-seen power struggle between owner and chef.


4. Chef- South Park. Chocolate. Salty. Balls. Legend. Need I say more?


3. Swedish Chef. This is probably my first memory of a chef to appear on the TV. Therefore, he makes the list for his influence. As this seems to be the case for a lot of chefs. Growing up and watching the TV in the 80s, was all about the Muppets. Several chefs have attributed this chef for inspiring them to be in the kitchen. Daniel Humm, Dominique Crenn, and Heston Blumenthal all told me this. This is 100% true. Because you’re reading this on the internet…. Or did I just dream that?


2. Gareth Blackstock A true ambassador and pioneer. Head chef of the Chateau Anglaise. “Chef” was BBC primetime viewing in the early 90’s. As a chef, he displayed class, talent and charm. He pulled no punches and ran the kitchen with authority and was totally respected by his brigade. This TV series ended too soon. Definitely due for resurrection.

1. Casey Ryback. Those who know, know. Chef Casey Ryback was formerly a Navy SEAL. He lost his Officer status by doing something bad which I can’t quite remember right now. But that’s really not important. Needless to say, if there is ever a chef you want to stand behind, this is the guy. He looked out for his team and makes a badass Bouillabaisse. If you’ve never watched Under Siege, then we can’t be friends. All Hail Steven Seagal. Sorry, I mean Chef Ryback!

Honourable mentions: Ian Beale (Eastenders) I don’t watch Eastenders.
Who have I missed? Who is in your top 10? Who should be number 1?
Also. Check out my Chef movie night suggestions blog here https://www.thestaffcanteen.com/Blog/chefs-movie-night-suggestions-blog-by-knifeofbrian Or on medium here https://medium.com/@brix2tri/chefs-movie-night-suggestions-26b585f6dd21
Cheers,
Brian P.

I wanted to see the year out on a positive note. I wanted to write about something close to my heart and something I know us chefs, waiters and other hospitality professionals all need. In fact, this transcends the industry. It reaches all of humanity and especially at this time of year, it is never more important.
​
I want to chat about relationships. You know what I mean? I’ve touched on this in many of my previous blog posts. I often mention my wife. She is the woman who pretty much raised our children as a single, working parent while I was bunkered down in a kitchen somewhere. She was and still is the woman turning up to parties on her own, while muggins here, is routing through a fridge to find the garnish for a late ordered cheeseboard. My wife is the mother who attends parents evenings and school plays on her own, because the Head chef’s pet dog needed babysitting. So I needed to cover his shift (true story).

We have been through so much over the years. Almost 25 years together. From Commis chef to
Head chef. I have seen many chef’s relationships come and go. Our relationship is often put on a pedestal
of unrealistic presumption. We get regarded as that “strong couple.” People are often asking us what is our secret. How has our relationship endured this industry which is notoriously hard on couples, families and friendships? It is no different for us. We argue, we “do each other’s heads in”. There are days where we just don’t speak to each other. But that is the nature of relationships.

When you find someone who can live with the hours which we put in. I don’t mean the amount of hours, but the structure of those hours. A partner who can tolerate the split shifts, the 32 hour weekends and the non-committal, vague finishing times. Hold on to that person. Appreciate the moments together.

I am pretty far away from being a relationship guru. I could well be single by this time next year. The hospitality lifestyle is hard on relationships as you know. I try to not bring too much work home. I know Abs (That’s my wife Abby) has no interest in how glossy my demi-glace was during service tonight. She doesn’t need to be told how tired I am. What she wants is… When’s your day off? What are we doing? And rightly so.

Being a father is the easy part, but being a Dad is the challenge. My kids have never known any different from me. I am at work. This is the part I find hardest. They already know and assume that I will not be there. All school letters and reports get handed straight to mum. During their younger years, this is what I found the toughest. Missing the school plays. Not being at the football games and cup finals. Not being home when they returned from Scout Camp. This was torture for me. When I look back at some of the reasons I missed some of these events, I have total regret. Why didn’t I tell my head chef to “do one!”? I guess it was a different time. Maybe the fear of not being able to provide for my family, outweighed the necessity of being present. That’s something for my therapist to analyse. Not for me to dwell on now.

Now, as teenagers, they really couldn’t give a crap where I am. I mean that in the nicest way. I can’t pretend to understand teenagers. They are all weird and speak a different language. I love my children to bits. They know this. That’s all that really matters, right?

My friendships have been fickle, fleeting, non-existant. But at the same time, pure. I have a very small inner circle of friends. Some of my oldest friends, I only see once a year at best. Rarely socially. It’ll either be when they visit the pub and I’m working or a chance run in while shopping. This is totally my fault. Trying to balance that quality time with my family when not working, leaves very little time, if any, for working on relationships with friends. Especially as we are now all older, have jobs and responsibilities. The days of meeting at the new wine bar for an all-dayer are a distant memory. But a happy memory. I am very fortunate to have some very good friends around me right now. They support me, my work and they love Gin (and meat!) For Abs and I, they all help fortify our own relationship. It’s just a shame that the meet ups are usually set around the parameters of when I can get the time off. But, I guess it’s about quality of friendships, not how often you get out. And I do have some high quality friendships.

There is no secret. We have been lucky. No! I have been lucky. I am a chef. I have put Abs through the mill many times in the past. I have been a proper arse. There have been times when I said I’d be home after my shift and then rolled in a lot later. Stopping for a few beers after work, which then turned in to a bit of a session. This was in the days before mobile phones. The days when you couldn’t just log in to Facebook to see where someone last checked in. People were just “out”. I was by no means a saint, but this is not a confessional. I just wanted to write about my experience as a man, as a chef, as a husband in this kitchen lifestyle and how we all endure it.

When I first met my wife, she was a trainee hairdresser. She worked in the Salon next door to the restaurant I was working in. We developed a friendship, a relationship and a partnership. From early on, she knew that I would always be working. She understood that a chef worked evenings and weekends. She accepted it without fuss.

I’m sure there are a lot of chefs, male and female who can relate to the kitchen language. The hospitality industry is a cauldron of hormones. Men and women who spend more time with each other than they do with their own partners. The friendships formed, can be very tight. To the external eye, stories can be manifested and edited to suit a narrative. Not necessarily the correct tale, but strong enough to wreck a relationship which has not had time to set it’s foundations. This is where trust comes in.

Of course, there are occasions where the story created in the mind of the suspicious partner is not that far from the truth. It can be very difficult for someone outside of the trade to understand the strength of the relationships formed in the kitchens. So many inside jokes. So many stories which can NEVER leave the Pass…. I’ll leave that there.

So, to sum up. If you have found a person who can put up with your shitty hours, the way you smell of meat and chips when you get home. The person who just gets it. Do your best to hold on to them. I can’t offer any dating advice if you are single. I realise I know fuck all about modern dating. Tinder/Grinder/Plenty of Fish (is that a thing?) are all alien to me. I’m from an era when my mum was Caller ID on a landline phone. “Who is it, mum?....Tell her I’m OUT!” I have written posts before on the subject, but more tongue in cheek. Go check out my other blog: 10 Things to know before you date a chef post and share that. Along with why being a chef is awesome!
​
I think I’ve rambled on enough. You get my point right? Did I make a point? Probably not lol!
 
Happy new year Chefs & Front of Housers!
2019 is yours!
 
Brian Powlett

WOW! So my blog has been shortlisted and now open to the public vote.

I don't usually enter these sort of things, but if you don't shoot, you wont score.

You can vote for me under the Culinary Section here :
https://blogawardsuk.co.uk/blog_award_category/culinary/page/7/

Or under the Lifestyle section here:

​https://blogawardsuk.co.uk/blog_award_category/lifestyle/page/42/

I think you just click on the little heart icon.

Massive thanks to all my supporters over the years and a super shout out to The Staff Canteen who have been publishing my blogs over the past few years. Thanks to all the Chefs who have inspired me to write. And my wife who encourages me to do what I love.


Thank you.

I really appreciate it

On Monday afternoon I was invited to attend an event hosted by Kin Knives and the new Mariners1900 Restaurant. Kin wanted to showcase their new knives to local chefs. And we chefs love new knives! 

Set at the back of Mariners1900 restaurant. We were welcomed by Chef/Owner Julien Jourdain. Also, Harriet and Zac from Kin.  
After an introduction to the knives and some demonstrations, we were able to get hands on. Slicing and dicing with the various blades. From the handmade custom masterpieces to single bevel steel slicers. There is definitely a knife for everyone. By this, I mean all types of chefs. With varying handle types and weights, it would have been nearly impossible to find a knife you didn't love.  I highly recomend taking a look at the Mr Itou Santoku knife, it really is pretty, but well out of my price range for now.
I was then grateful for a little tour of the boat. I had explained to Julian that I had worked there back in the early 90's when it was the Italian restaurant "il Punto". A few memories came back once we entered the kitchen. The low ceiling and narrow gangways. But as well as the memories, there was a little envy too. As the kitchen on this boat was still 3 times the size of the Greyhound Kitchen! With equipment I could only dream of. A Rational oven, induction hob and a walk-in fridge.....just imagine. I really look forward to visiting Mariners for a meal soon, but as I've blown all my pocket money on a new knife, the visit may have to wait a few weeks.

Kin Knives is a family run business importing a range of high quality and bespoke Japanese Kitchen knives. Each range of knife is exclusive to Kin Knives. Prices range from £40 to over £425 per knife depending on construction and heritage. To compliment the knives we offer a selection of Canadian Maple chopping boards and a wide range of sharpening tools. Please take your time to browse our website, within the various ranges there should be a knife for everyone!

Visit the Kin Knives website by clicking here.

Take a look at Mariners1900 by clicking here.

On the 1st October the restaurant was purchased by French chef Julien Jourdain and his wife Karine. They have both been in the catering business for over 15 years. Julien was the previous business partner of the waterfront bar and bistro, acclaimed and well known establishment for over 10 years. 


This is not a paid promotion. I just wanted to show off my new knife!

​We chefs are curious creatures indeed. I often imagine a highly produced BBC Documentary in the style of Blue Planet, being shot about the behaviours of chefs. Animalistic and savage, yet territorial and family oriented. With a voice-over by Sir David Attenborough, we would be entertained by hyper slow motion shots of newbie chefs peeling potatoes (shot in real time). Through to the dramatic, overture which plays across the scene where the chefs fed on the carcass of the Sunday roast tray, mopping up the jus roti with the day old bread ends. They then scatter when the general manager or executive chef walks in. They fear an attempt of an awkward conversation about Love Island or recent football results….

I love being a chef. I’ve said this many times. I can find it challenging, but these days, it’s more of a physical challenge. Everything hurts as I’m getting older. Approaching my mid-forties, I am constantly aware of every passing hour. Counting down to the end of my shift so I can have a cheeky sit down while I phone my orders in. I know 43 is not old, but with my 44th birthday coming up later this month (22nd November if you wanna send me a card) I am thinking more about the next stage of my kitchen career. I am not a chef on the cusp of rosettes or Michelin. I am a good chef, but I am fully aware of my limits. I love to challenge myself and I have never shied away from graft. I pride myself on being a chef you want to work with when it gets busy. My coolness under pressure is my USP. My priority has always been flavour not flowers. I am definitely more Bistro than Blumenthal. I currently ply my trade in a pub kitchen, where we are spectacularly busy. I guess I’m doing something right. And like the 99% of chefs out there, the daily graft is real. So far removed from the TV chefs. The faded whites which chafe at the armpits. The turmeric stained apron and the trousers held up with a belt made from tightly pulled cling film. We turn up, we cook LOTS! We clean down, go home and repeat the next day.

Have a drink on me chefs!!Privately, I recently had a crisis of confidence. Fuelled by my impending birthday and that feeling of what now? Is it a young persons game? At almost 44, the harder shifts are getting tougher. Although the muscle memory for most of the tasks has set in. Keeping up with current trends and the ever changing legislation changes gives the older generation more things to think about. I was starting to consider how many years I can keep up to speed. Will my chefs tell me when I start making those silly mistakes which aging chefs make? You know the ones. We’ve all worked with a chef who has stayed in the kitchen a few years too long. We’d be pulling the pan of reducing Gastrique off the flames, as they had forgotten and overstretched themselves. I don’t want that to be me.

(Side note; How old is the oldest chef you’ve worked with?)

Forty-four is by no means old. But in this very physically demanding industry, it could be compared to professional sports. Should I take a move down into the lower leagues, become a dinner-lady, minus the gender reassignment. Chocolate crunch with pink custard? Is it time for this chef to start considering an exit strategy. Open my own restaurant? Forge a career as an author of a series of books about a wizard chef? What to do next?
Disclaimer; I am VERY happy with my job. I’m just looking at the big picture. The Greyhound in Ipswich has been a real life saver for me. I’ve had the opportunity to rediscover my love of food in an environment which suits where I am at in my own headspace. This post is more of a general rambling. Aimed at that large cross-section of us chefs who don’t sit in that illustrious top echelon. We, the guys and gals in the trenches. The chefs with no time for posting on Instagram. No desire for a cookbook deal. The lifer.

Coming back to this blog a few days after writing it. I was concerned that I was sounding a little defeatist. I am generally quite a positive person. Always looking for the next adventure, idea or opportunity. I love writing these blogs. These are the conversations which I often struggle to verbalise with my peers, family and friends. This, as I have said before, is my therapy. Just writing this has ignited the spark of motivation I needed. No, this is not my letter of resignation. Although, imagine that? One way to see if they read my blogs at work hahaha! I still don’t have a cast iron plan of what to do next, but I feel better for just putting this out there.

Thanks for reading

Yours Over-sharingly

​Brian

Well. That was a nice surprise. I've just rolled passed 500 likes on Facebook. I will do my best to keep updating, but I am a very busy chap. 
If you have not followed me yet, come and join the party.

Thank you all.

Update: There seems to be some mystery squiggles and characters in this post. You can read a clearer version on Medium (CLICK HERE) I really can't work out how to sort this.

What does it take for you to take a day off ill when you are a chef?

​I’ll keep this one short and sweet because I feel like crap.

Have you seen that chef meme?

[phone call]

“Chef, I’m not well, I can’t come in…”

“Oh no! Which Hospital are you in?”

“I’m not in Hospital chef!”

“Ok…See you at 4 pm”

How ill do we have to be to be able to take time out? With the recent season of flu, colds and sniffles being upon us. Chefs around the world are trying to be heroes by turning up in kitchens to get their Mise en place done. 

Meanwhile, those 9 to 5ers are wrapped up with a Lemsip, Netflix and a thick blanket. They have called in their “Duvet Day” (yes, that’s a thing) With no drama from the Human resources department. They can take the deserved break to recover and feel better.


Jealous, moi? Totally! Too many occasions have I been in a kitchen when I should have been resting. Too afraid to say, “I need my bed”. Dose up on pills and carry on. It’s almost like a badge of honour to be working while being unwell. But who is the mug? We joke about the snowflake/millennial generation, but are they the ones who’ve got it right? 

Why bust your ass at work for that £8 per hour, when a day off could be priceless? Living your best life should not involve trying not to sneeze into the Court Bouillon!

Now, obviously, when I talk about being ill, I’m only really talking about mild colds and not full-on Influenza. Here, I’m just really talking about the disparity between the hospitality industry and the office and retail sector. Chefs and service staff have to be sicker than the average to warrant time off. It is frustrating when a co-worker calls in sick, but let’s be honest, we moan about it, but life goes on. The job gets done. Also, when it's sincere, we would all prefer that the sick staff member kept their “dreaded lurgy” to themselves.

And yes. We all know the Environmental Health view on sickness. But here, I’m really just talking about the work/sickness culture. Do you work when you should be recovering? How easy is it for you or your employees to take time off? What can be done to make it easier?

With modern knowledge, we are very focused on the issues with mental health. We know people need to try and speak up when they have a problem and should not be stigmatised for it. But how can we expect this when people are still afraid to call in for the common cold?

I told you that I feel like crap. I’m now heading back to bed. It is my day off anyway, so I’ll be back at work tomorrow. I’d love to spend more time linking in stats and quantifiable research to this blog, but I really don’t have the energy. My wife and kids are giving me zero sympathy. I just want my mummy…..sniff!

For this month’s post, I thought I’d list 11 Comments and Questions chefs love to hate.
I know these grind on me. Feel free to add…

1. Can I get discount?
Chefs are always asked for discount. No matter which level they work at in the kitchen, it seems to be assumed that they have senior powers to slice a cool 20% off their friend’s bills. This is not the case. Most chefs don’t even get discounts themselves. If they do happen to own the restaurant, bar or hotel and this friend wants to visit, then the friendly thing to do would be to support them by expecting to pay full price. Anything else is a bonus.

2. Have you ever worked with….?
Mostly NO! There are millions of chefs in the world. We don’t all know each other and we have not all worked for that 0.01% who are fortunate enough to have their own TV show on the BBC.

3. What’s your signature dish?
I really hate this one. Back in the 1990s, every chef on TV seemed to have a signature dish. This then filtered down into the mainstream consciousness. Resulting in it being the follow up question, once meeting new people and they realise they are in the presence of a chef. A signature dish is a luxury reserved for those in the world of competitive cookery. Or those with a book deal. Brian from The Greyhound Pub has no signature dish. He’s too busy for that shit!

4. What’s in this? (insert random dish in random restaurant)
Like I said before. We chefs do not all know each other and we are not all connected via WiFi or Bluetooth. So if we are fortunate enough to be invited out for a meal with a group of friends or family. We do not automatically know what is in the random establishments fish pie or beef curry. We can only guess as much as the next person.

5. I bet your partner eats well?
Well, I guess she might. I’m never really home….. This question is based on the assumption that I am home cooking for my beloved every day. She feasts on nothing but restaurant grade meals cooked by me. Sous Vide venison fillet with confit shallots, garnished with edible flowers n shit! Nah bruv! She’s been to Morrisons and picked up a salad, some falafels and a bottle of Echo Falls Rose. She’s happy. After 18 years of marriage, she knows how to take care of herself in the kitchen. A chef’s spouse knows the score. Which leads me to number 6…..

6. What do you want to do on your day off babe?
Nothing. I want to do nothing. I want to sleep in until midday. I’ll eat those kit-kats, the crisps and the Muller Rice you were saving for the kids packed lunches. Then I’ll watch ALL the catch up TV which I’ve missed all week…plus I may lose myself in an episode of Jeremy Kyle. My brain needs to operate in power-save mode for a while. Like Windows 95, the shut down procedure takes a while…. “It is now safe to shut down your chef"

7. Are you one of those shouty/angry chefs?
No. He’s called Gordon Ramsay. He’s made millions from his persona (and talent) It works for him and may have worked for that generation of chef. But we are now in the 21st century where being a bell end is frowned upon and not accepted. I’d be out of a job and unemployable if I adopted the angry chef model of leadership. This question is usually asked by someone who doesn’t actually know me that well. Those who have worked with me will know that I am “Chill AF” No drama in my kitchens. Channel the adrenalin into the work. Move on.

8. Oh, you’d hate to cook for me, I’m a really fussy eater.
Nothing to add. You are correct. I will not be cooking for you…. Ok. Fussy eaters who come in to eat my food are welcome. I like to feel I am adaptable. But I will swear, mutter under my breath and talk trash behind your back. But you do pay my wages. But yes. I will hate it.

9. I bet you’re really fussy when you eat out?
Any chef worth their salt will have realistic expectations when they eat out. A chef will never criticise a plate of food set down in front of them. Come on! It’s very rare if we actually eat from a plate, let alone have someone prepare us a meal. Quite literally Don’t bite the hand which feeds you!

10. I’ll pop in for a chat when you’re at work.
Can I come and see you while you’re at work?! Just because I work in a public house does not mean I am not working. Just because I’m the head chef, do not assume I have a platoon on minions hanging onto my apron strings, waiting to do my bidding. I don’t swan into the kitchen with a tasting spoon like the Man From Del Monte. I’m busting my arse to keep the trip advisor brigade happy. I always appreciate a hello. I really love a beer being sent to the kitchen. But please understand, I have a job to do. And if we do chat and I seem distracted…. Something is probably burning.

11. What’s good on the menu chef?
I can’t believe I nearly missed this one. I really can’t tell you what you want to eat. All the food is good, in my opinion. Me and my team have done our best to deliver the best product we can. We have produced a menu for you to choose from. Make a decision and stop bothering me….. But actually… maybe try the Salt Cod, broad bean and prawn risotto. I think it’s bloody lush! 😊

​I hope you’ve enjoyed my little list and taken it in the humour it’s meant. If you have any comments or questions you want to add, please drop me a line.