I was in the gym the recently. I jumped on a fancy new machine and I was asked to enter some details via the digital display. Weight, height and age. Not the first time I’ve had to do this at the gym. So, without giving it too much thought I answered the questions. Weight: 92kg (ouch!), Height: 183cm (Whatever 6ft is in cm), Age: 43….yeah 43?…Hang on… shit! I’m 44! I had seriously forgotten my age. How long had I been saying that I am 43? Considering my birthday was last November. Had I completely disregarded that one? The more profound realisation, was that this year, I will be turning 45. I know this is by no means “old” but it made me think. How much longer can I do this for? I’m not talking about the cross trainer I was on, but, this life as a chef. I know there are a certain level of chefs, who may not be able to relate to this. But, to the faction of us in stained whites, who are serving up the not so glamorous burgers and chilli nachos to the beer and Prosecco swilling masses. The days can be long and monotonous. The only reprieve coming when taking a moment to scroll through Instagram and daydreaming about being a part of the Tweezer Crew in some chrome and steel plated, high-end kitchen.
So, what’s the plan Brian? What’s your End Game? (that was going to ne the name of this blog, but didn’t want you to think it was an Avengers Movie review). As I’ve stated, I know 44 is not old, but it is an age which I feel I should be seriously considering my next move. I’m not actively looking for a new job, but I always consider new opportunities, ventures and collaborations, whether it’s cooking, consulting or teaching. This usually fits quite nicely into my current roll at the pub and with my website. That’s kinda what I do…but how long can I keep doing it?
For the purpose of this blog and for those in a similar situation, I thought I should list some of options I’ve take or thought about. With a view that those who actually read this post, can add their own ideas in the comments below, thus creating an inspiration wall of strategies. Ya get me?
Me, myself and I:
The approach which I am currently taking, is more psychological. I enjoy my job. I find aspects of it frustrating, I wish I had more money. All the normal qualms people have with working full time. But, what I do now is, I focus more on my life outside of work. Making the commitment to something which is not related to pots and pans. For me, it’s running, going to the gym and working on improving my fitness. It’s making me focus on something else which is inherently more important. Me! Ironic as it was the gym which triggered this whole episode. Fitness does not need to be the focus here. The point is, making structured time for yourself and moving the kitchen, bar or restaurant away from the top of the list. Reading, audio-books and podcasts are another thing I add to this tool kit of self-preservation. Shut the world off. Focus on myself.
Money:
Taking a reduction in pay or hours is an option I toyed with. Could I go and work in a school or care home for a reduced wage, more family friendly hours. Stepping away from the restaurant sector and more in to the care/private sector. I know a few chefs who have done this. It works for some. But this is where the balance of mental welfare and financial stability can be like walking a tightrope. There are a few chefs working as sales reps. Still in hospitality. Selling everything from chilled pastry items, fruit and veg, to Combi ovens. These jobs tend to pay a little better than being a dinner-lady/man. But as with most Sales Rep jobs, these are mostly commission based. So the pay will fluctuate.
Start-Up:
Go for it….or don’t. That idea you’ve always had for your own place. Can you do it? Take the time to develop a business plan. Do your research. Whether it’s a Bar, restaurant, tea room, food truck, pop-up or something completely different. Stop procrastinating and grab that pen, a piece of paper and start scribbling down your idea. Just by focusing on this, it will give you something to think about. Even while you are working, use those moments to think about what you’d do differently or even, the same! I have a new business idea most weeks. I know this is the area I need to commit more time to personally. I’m hoping to host my first official pop-up within the next 12 months. This comes with a lot of stresses and hard work. But as Maya Angelou says Nothing will work, unless you do!
Freelancing:
A booming sector right now. Lots of chefs are taking themselves off the grid and becoming wandering hands for hire. You can end up working a lot more than you were before, but in theory, you do get paid for every single hour you work. But if you are looking to take your foot off the gas, this may not always be the best option. Your employer will want value for money and they tend to demand more for the £20 per hour chef even when it’s not so busy. Again, this works for some. Have you got a car? This is a very viable option. My advice would be to get your negotiation skills up to speed and get short term contract agreements signed.
Career change:
For a while, I went in to teaching. I was an instructor of Professional cookery at the local college. I loved this. Well. I loved the teaching part. The bureaucracy of the roll was what frustrated me. But that’s for another blog. Needless to say, This is where I fell in love with teaching. I was only in the roll for a year and a half, but I still now do visits to schools and colleges. As well as private cookery tuition.
To date, I am one of the few remaining chefs still cooking professionally, from my graduating class at catering college. They mostly dropped by the wayside to become bus drivers, bank workers, firefighters, taxi drivers, mums, dads and in one case, running a Skip Hire company! I love being a chef. I don’t feel I could stray too far from what I do now. The changes I look for are more to do with coping strategies. I can’t see myself doing anything which is not related to food. Maybe you see yourself in an office or “doing lunch” with colleagues. That’s not a world for me chef! Put a pin in that, we’ll touch base over brunch yah?
Talk:
This is the one which is most important. If you are struggling with your workload. Talk to someone. It doesn’t have to be a coworker. Just talking with someone WILL make you feel better. But if you can talk to someone at work who can influence your conditions, then do it. If they want you to be happy, the humanity in them will drive them to make it so. Leaving a job is not always the best solution. We’ve all been in the situation where we’ve left a job, then found out the thing that was pissing you off there has been changed for your replacement.
If you have no one you feel you can chat with, drop me an Direct Message for fucks sake. I’m proper nice (mostly). I’m no therapist but you’re still welcome to pay me £150 per hour or just buy me a beer if we meet.
I can’t claim to be an expert on behaviour, social well being or any sort of psychologist. But I have wrestled with the subject of “What next?” a lot over the past few months. This blog is by no means detailed. I can only apologise for that. Maybe one day I’ll be in a situation where I can afford more time and resources to do more research. If you are like me and starting to think about how you want to see out your career, please comment below. There are so many options these days. The hospitality sector is so vast. Your dream job or opportunity is never that far away. It just takes a leap of faith and self-belief. I will keep doing my thing. I love what I do, but I know it’s not sustainable. I’ll still focus on self-development. Maybe one day I’ll look back at this blog and think what was I worried about?
Maybe I’ll write a book.
Cheers
B

I wanted to see the year out on a positive note. I wanted to write about something close to my heart and something I know us chefs, waiters and other hospitality professionals all need. In fact, this transcends the industry. It reaches all of humanity and especially at this time of year, it is never more important.
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I want to chat about relationships. You know what I mean? I’ve touched on this in many of my previous blog posts. I often mention my wife. She is the woman who pretty much raised our children as a single, working parent while I was bunkered down in a kitchen somewhere. She was and still is the woman turning up to parties on her own, while muggins here, is routing through a fridge to find the garnish for a late ordered cheeseboard. My wife is the mother who attends parents evenings and school plays on her own, because the Head chef’s pet dog needed babysitting. So I needed to cover his shift (true story).

We have been through so much over the years. Almost 25 years together. From Commis chef to
Head chef. I have seen many chef’s relationships come and go. Our relationship is often put on a pedestal
of unrealistic presumption. We get regarded as that “strong couple.” People are often asking us what is our secret. How has our relationship endured this industry which is notoriously hard on couples, families and friendships? It is no different for us. We argue, we “do each other’s heads in”. There are days where we just don’t speak to each other. But that is the nature of relationships.

When you find someone who can live with the hours which we put in. I don’t mean the amount of hours, but the structure of those hours. A partner who can tolerate the split shifts, the 32 hour weekends and the non-committal, vague finishing times. Hold on to that person. Appreciate the moments together.

I am pretty far away from being a relationship guru. I could well be single by this time next year. The hospitality lifestyle is hard on relationships as you know. I try to not bring too much work home. I know Abs (That’s my wife Abby) has no interest in how glossy my demi-glace was during service tonight. She doesn’t need to be told how tired I am. What she wants is… When’s your day off? What are we doing? And rightly so.

Being a father is the easy part, but being a Dad is the challenge. My kids have never known any different from me. I am at work. This is the part I find hardest. They already know and assume that I will not be there. All school letters and reports get handed straight to mum. During their younger years, this is what I found the toughest. Missing the school plays. Not being at the football games and cup finals. Not being home when they returned from Scout Camp. This was torture for me. When I look back at some of the reasons I missed some of these events, I have total regret. Why didn’t I tell my head chef to “do one!”? I guess it was a different time. Maybe the fear of not being able to provide for my family, outweighed the necessity of being present. That’s something for my therapist to analyse. Not for me to dwell on now.

Now, as teenagers, they really couldn’t give a crap where I am. I mean that in the nicest way. I can’t pretend to understand teenagers. They are all weird and speak a different language. I love my children to bits. They know this. That’s all that really matters, right?

My friendships have been fickle, fleeting, non-existant. But at the same time, pure. I have a very small inner circle of friends. Some of my oldest friends, I only see once a year at best. Rarely socially. It’ll either be when they visit the pub and I’m working or a chance run in while shopping. This is totally my fault. Trying to balance that quality time with my family when not working, leaves very little time, if any, for working on relationships with friends. Especially as we are now all older, have jobs and responsibilities. The days of meeting at the new wine bar for an all-dayer are a distant memory. But a happy memory. I am very fortunate to have some very good friends around me right now. They support me, my work and they love Gin (and meat!) For Abs and I, they all help fortify our own relationship. It’s just a shame that the meet ups are usually set around the parameters of when I can get the time off. But, I guess it’s about quality of friendships, not how often you get out. And I do have some high quality friendships.

There is no secret. We have been lucky. No! I have been lucky. I am a chef. I have put Abs through the mill many times in the past. I have been a proper arse. There have been times when I said I’d be home after my shift and then rolled in a lot later. Stopping for a few beers after work, which then turned in to a bit of a session. This was in the days before mobile phones. The days when you couldn’t just log in to Facebook to see where someone last checked in. People were just “out”. I was by no means a saint, but this is not a confessional. I just wanted to write about my experience as a man, as a chef, as a husband in this kitchen lifestyle and how we all endure it.

When I first met my wife, she was a trainee hairdresser. She worked in the Salon next door to the restaurant I was working in. We developed a friendship, a relationship and a partnership. From early on, she knew that I would always be working. She understood that a chef worked evenings and weekends. She accepted it without fuss.

I’m sure there are a lot of chefs, male and female who can relate to the kitchen language. The hospitality industry is a cauldron of hormones. Men and women who spend more time with each other than they do with their own partners. The friendships formed, can be very tight. To the external eye, stories can be manifested and edited to suit a narrative. Not necessarily the correct tale, but strong enough to wreck a relationship which has not had time to set it’s foundations. This is where trust comes in.

Of course, there are occasions where the story created in the mind of the suspicious partner is not that far from the truth. It can be very difficult for someone outside of the trade to understand the strength of the relationships formed in the kitchens. So many inside jokes. So many stories which can NEVER leave the Pass…. I’ll leave that there.

So, to sum up. If you have found a person who can put up with your shitty hours, the way you smell of meat and chips when you get home. The person who just gets it. Do your best to hold on to them. I can’t offer any dating advice if you are single. I realise I know fuck all about modern dating. Tinder/Grinder/Plenty of Fish (is that a thing?) are all alien to me. I’m from an era when my mum was Caller ID on a landline phone. “Who is it, mum?....Tell her I’m OUT!” I have written posts before on the subject, but more tongue in cheek. Go check out my other blog: 10 Things to know before you date a chef post and share that. Along with why being a chef is awesome!
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I think I’ve rambled on enough. You get my point right? Did I make a point? Probably not lol!
 
Happy new year Chefs & Front of Housers!
2019 is yours!
 
Brian Powlett

​We chefs are curious creatures indeed. I often imagine a highly produced BBC Documentary in the style of Blue Planet, being shot about the behaviours of chefs. Animalistic and savage, yet territorial and family oriented. With a voice-over by Sir David Attenborough, we would be entertained by hyper slow motion shots of newbie chefs peeling potatoes (shot in real time). Through to the dramatic, overture which plays across the scene where the chefs fed on the carcass of the Sunday roast tray, mopping up the jus roti with the day old bread ends. They then scatter when the general manager or executive chef walks in. They fear an attempt of an awkward conversation about Love Island or recent football results….

I love being a chef. I’ve said this many times. I can find it challenging, but these days, it’s more of a physical challenge. Everything hurts as I’m getting older. Approaching my mid-forties, I am constantly aware of every passing hour. Counting down to the end of my shift so I can have a cheeky sit down while I phone my orders in. I know 43 is not old, but with my 44th birthday coming up later this month (22nd November if you wanna send me a card) I am thinking more about the next stage of my kitchen career. I am not a chef on the cusp of rosettes or Michelin. I am a good chef, but I am fully aware of my limits. I love to challenge myself and I have never shied away from graft. I pride myself on being a chef you want to work with when it gets busy. My coolness under pressure is my USP. My priority has always been flavour not flowers. I am definitely more Bistro than Blumenthal. I currently ply my trade in a pub kitchen, where we are spectacularly busy. I guess I’m doing something right. And like the 99% of chefs out there, the daily graft is real. So far removed from the TV chefs. The faded whites which chafe at the armpits. The turmeric stained apron and the trousers held up with a belt made from tightly pulled cling film. We turn up, we cook LOTS! We clean down, go home and repeat the next day.

Have a drink on me chefs!!Privately, I recently had a crisis of confidence. Fuelled by my impending birthday and that feeling of what now? Is it a young persons game? At almost 44, the harder shifts are getting tougher. Although the muscle memory for most of the tasks has set in. Keeping up with current trends and the ever changing legislation changes gives the older generation more things to think about. I was starting to consider how many years I can keep up to speed. Will my chefs tell me when I start making those silly mistakes which aging chefs make? You know the ones. We’ve all worked with a chef who has stayed in the kitchen a few years too long. We’d be pulling the pan of reducing Gastrique off the flames, as they had forgotten and overstretched themselves. I don’t want that to be me.

(Side note; How old is the oldest chef you’ve worked with?)

Forty-four is by no means old. But in this very physically demanding industry, it could be compared to professional sports. Should I take a move down into the lower leagues, become a dinner-lady, minus the gender reassignment. Chocolate crunch with pink custard? Is it time for this chef to start considering an exit strategy. Open my own restaurant? Forge a career as an author of a series of books about a wizard chef? What to do next?
Disclaimer; I am VERY happy with my job. I’m just looking at the big picture. The Greyhound in Ipswich has been a real life saver for me. I’ve had the opportunity to rediscover my love of food in an environment which suits where I am at in my own headspace. This post is more of a general rambling. Aimed at that large cross-section of us chefs who don’t sit in that illustrious top echelon. We, the guys and gals in the trenches. The chefs with no time for posting on Instagram. No desire for a cookbook deal. The lifer.

Coming back to this blog a few days after writing it. I was concerned that I was sounding a little defeatist. I am generally quite a positive person. Always looking for the next adventure, idea or opportunity. I love writing these blogs. These are the conversations which I often struggle to verbalise with my peers, family and friends. This, as I have said before, is my therapy. Just writing this has ignited the spark of motivation I needed. No, this is not my letter of resignation. Although, imagine that? One way to see if they read my blogs at work hahaha! I still don’t have a cast iron plan of what to do next, but I feel better for just putting this out there.

Thanks for reading

Yours Over-sharingly

​Brian